Chapter 4: hide's death ― The beginnings of Ra:IN

Farewell to hide

The phone started ringing unexpectedly. That morning (May 2, 1998), I was home, sleeping. I got two calls, and in my half-awake state I could make out someone leaving a message on the answering machine, saying: "I'll call again". The phone continued to ring, annoying me, and on the third or fourth call, I gave in and picked it up. It was Mashita, from band management. He told me this, in a meek voice:

"hide passed away."

The only thing I could think about was: "What the hell is this guy saying?" I was utterly confused, so as he told me the details, I just asked repeatedly: "Wait, what do you mean?" At that moment, for the first time in my life, I was not able to sit up straight. And I don't mean figuratively, I had become completely paralyzed.

Since that call, I've developed an aversion to phones. I also hate the sound of phones. I'm unable to have a decent phone call. I still can't get that call out of my mind.

X Japan returned in 2007. During the concerts, I kept noticing that he wasn't there. It happened a lot, especially in the beginning. Of course, I still catch myself noticing it even now.

After hide's death, I've played many tribute shows, and I always think: "By now, I've played your songs more than you have."

hide's song, "Hurry Go Round" is just singing with an acoustic guitar in the background, and I'm the one who plays the acoustic guitar on it. When I play it live, I always wonder: "Why did you never make a mistake in this song? I'm always making mistakes." At a concert, I play the acoustic guitar live, but his voice is still the same voice from when he was 30.

I'm already in my 50s. Back then, he and I were only one year apart in age, but now we have such a big age difference. There are many times when my thoughts drift while I'm playing guitar, like: "This is how I play live now that I'm older".

If I had to describe our relationship in terms other than 'bandmate' I would say we were drinking buddies, we shared news, we gave each other advice, and we helped each other remember things. Things along those lines.

By helping each other remember things, I mean this: At the rehearsals, the day after we went out drinking together, he would often ask me: "What happened yesterday?" He got so drunk that he often couldn't remember the events of the previous day. So I would tell him what he did and said in detail.

One time, hide got into an argument with a guy who was drinking in the seat next to him. They were arguing about Gundam. As a result, he got into a fist fight with the guy and his reason for it was that: "Not even my parents ever beat me up," and I was the one who had to tell him what happened, the following day. Incidentally, sometimes I also have to remind Yoshiki of things he did or said.

hide loved to share news and information with me. He loved to research all kinds of things, so he would tell me about everything he could get his hands on, like: “You know, that thing is actually...” or “I heard this and that”. He was like the old lady neighbor who likes to gossip. He knew a lot about the band scene. He also told me many things about Yoshiki. And it wasn't like I gave him money to tell me anything, he'd tell me everything out of his own accord.

I don't think I even need to write that we were drinking buddies, because we were. He was also someone I hung out with a lot. We didn't just go out the two of us, but we'd be with some 5 or 6 friends from other bands, we even went on trips together. One morning we went to the forest near Mt. Fuji and in the afternoon, we went all the way to Kanazawa in Ishikawa by car. That was a very random itinerary.

Even if only the two of us went out drinking together, hide would always call someone to join us. Maybe because there wasn't much we would talk about when we were drinking. Even after he moved from Asagaya, he would still suddenly show up at the bar I would go to in Asagaya. I would rather drink in Asagaya, but he would drag me along to the most absurd places. A long time ago, we played in Kawasaki's Club Citta, and went out to drink in Kawasaki. He suddenly said: "Well, let's go to Yokosuka! It's not too far from here." No, Yokosuka is not at all close to Kawasaki. In fact, Tokyo is closer to Kawasaki. We went anyway, since his childhood house was in Yokosuka.

When we went out drinking, hide would often end up taking us to Yokosuka. I've been to his childhood house many times, I even stayed the night at his grandmother's house once. Next door to his grandmother's salon, was United's bass player Yokoyama's(Akihiro, passed away unexpectedly in 2014) childhood house. hide and Yokoyama were childhood friends. Sometimes they would get into very heated arguments, that I have no idea whether they really got along or not. I believe they were good friends since they could argue with each other in a very candid way.

When United came to the US west coast on tour, hide called me: "Hey, Yoko is here, won't you come hang out with us?" In short, he called me over so we could have a drink. Harry and Shingo-chan of United were there too, they're also from Chiba and around the same age as I am. hide and Yokoyama were both from Yokosuka and the same age. I didn't want to get involved in their bickering, so the three of us from Chiba grouped together and had our drinks in peace. Even though we were in LA at the time, of course hide suggested we go to Yokosuka.

There were times when hide and I had our fights. Once, after a show, he was drunk and very agitated, and when I tried to get him to calm down, maybe I got on his nerves and we grappled a little. Well, it wasn't much of a fight, and after that we went out for a drink. He drank, then made a scene, and went back to drinking again. I guess I was a convenient person, to him. He really craved company, after all.

I think he hated being alone at home. I frequently got phone calls from him asking me to come over so we could discuss some trivial personal matter of his. When hide lived in Asagaya, he would also ask me to go with him to buy flowers at the local flower shop. And I know very little about flowers.

He loved to invite people to come over to his place. After we finished rehearsing, he'd always ask: "Won't you come over today?" I have been to every house he's lived in, both in LA and in Japan. And as I've mentioned earlier, I've even been to his childhood home in Yokosuka.

The "embarrassingly-named band"

When X Japan disbanded, I got a phone call from hide, saying he was going to start an "embarrassingly-named band" (laughs: Spread Beaver). Of course, he also asked: "How about you join it too?" While I thought about it, he said something like: "I'll take care of everything, the stage costumes, everything." I wasn't unwilling to join, but halfway through the talk it seemed a little tiresome, so I declined: "I think I'll pass". I also thought it would be better if I wasn't in a new band with a fellow bandmate from the now-disbanded X Japan.

Still, hide himself told me he had a guitarist he wanted to work with, and that was Kaz. I told him: "Sure, I think it's a good idea for you to work with him". And he ended the call saying something like: "Ok then, I'll do that this time". I wonder, when he said "this time", did he mean there would be a next time...? Would I be a part of it, later on?

During the rehearsal for X Japan's Last Live, hide gave me the recording of “Rocket Dive”, the first song to be released as hide with Spread Beaver. We were sitting across the table from each other after rehearsal, and he handed it to me, saying: "I made a new song". When I got home and put it on, I thought: "Isn't this supposed to be "Rocket Ride"(a KISS song)?" Because "Rocket Ride"'s intro sounds just like that when it's sped up (laughs). And he got his introduction to rock music through KISS.

The next day, I told him those thoughts about the KISS song. But he only remained silent. I've debated whether to include that in this book.

I still have his leather jacket, but not as a memento. The leather jacket he wore in his Saver Tiger days. The one he gave to me when I had barely joined X, saying: "Why don't you wear this?"

I hadn't seen hide for several months after the X Japan broke up. He was really busy with his solo career, recording his solo album in LA, filming music videos. It was the rare time when he wasn't constantly calling me. So when I was invited to that party, that conversation we had, or rather, that short greeting we exchanged, was the last time I saw him...

If I get bored, I can just quit

My second solo album, Raised on Rock, was released in July 1995, while X was still active. I was so busy with X that I couldn't promote my solo album or tour. That is something I still regret to this day.

After X disbanded, I started a new band, PAF. I was the only one who still had a contract with the recording label, and I originally intended to work as a solo artist. However, during the songwriting phase, Nobuo-chan (Nobuo Yamada, formerly of Make-Up) helped me write lyrics, and even sang some songs provisionally.

While recording, I tried to think about a good singer to recruit, but I had a moment of realization. Nobuo, who already had done a few of the songs, was a great singer. I asked him: “Would you like to join me?” And from there, PAF gradually started to look more like a band. The name of the band, PAF, of course, comes from the guitar pickups.

PAF released two albums, Patent Applied For (March 1998), and Pat.#0002 (February 1999). After that, I formed Dope HEADz with Ina and Heath.

Dope HEADz originally started out as a project between Ina and Heath. Then, they started to look for a guitarist, and since "I was there", I became the guitarist, but I wasn't aggressively recruited. That’s why, when we had our first meeting as a band, I said to the pair and to the management: "If I get bored, I can just quit."

Dope HEADz was a band where each of us wrote songs individually. Heath and Ina recorded the first album, Primitive Impulse (2001), in LA, but I couldn't be bothered to go all the way there, so I wrote songs and recorded in Japan. Joey Castillo of Zilch played the drums on the tracks recorded in LA. Ryu (Ryuichi Nishida, formerly of Novela, now of Ra:IN) played the drums on the songs I wrote. That's also one of the reasons Ryu joined us on tour.

Dope HEADz released two albums, Primitive Impulse, and Planet of the Dope (2002).

The beginnings of Ra:IN

While I was still in Dope HEADz, I joined a new band, Ra:IN. Ra:IN has been around for about 20 years already, but it actually started by chance while we were drinking. Tetsu Mukaiyama played drums on PAF's second album, Pat.#0002, and we also toured together. He had a rock bar in Setagaya-Daita. and I often went there to drink.

One night while drinking at the bar, Michiaki Suzuki came in. He had stopped by the bar on his way home from a Johnny Thunders memorial concert. Michiaki said to Tetsu: “I'm thinking about starting a band, would you join?" Tetsu's response was: “Sure, but how are we going to find more members?" I had a funny feeling while listening to this conversation. While looking at me, drinking next to them, both said: "Ah, we have a guitarist right here." My funny feeling was spot-on. Just because I happened to be at the same place, at the same time, I became the guitarist for their new band.

That was how the group was established. At the time, I thought they were only joking around while drinking, but then Michiaki said: "Let's have a meeting tomorrow". And then for the first time I realized that it was serious talk. Michiaki was going to write songs, and so were we, and we started planning rehearsals.

Ra:IN is a very relaxed band, we're content with just creating sounds. I think our first live performance was in October or November 2002. At the time, we mostly played covers, but had something like 4 or 5 original songs. Playing live was fun. It felt like we were a group of drunks, making a real racket of noise.

During rehearsals for this first show, we received a complaint from a bar on the floor above the venue, saying that we were being too loud. Hearing this, Michiaki said: “Let's call it a day,” meaning that we shouldn't play the concert instead of just ending the rehearsal. It was his drunk self talking, being completely unreasonable. In the end, we managed to play the show.

Die-chan, who had been a support member, joined the band in the middle of the tour, and later Ryu replaced Tetsu Mukaiyama on drums, and that's how we became a four-piece band. All of us have distinct personalities as musicians. If someone starts playing something, the rest will just follow without saying a word. In the beginning, there was a lot of improvisation, so there was also a lot of ‘how do we get this song back on track’ and other such "silent discussions" during our live shows. A song would evolve simply with us exchanging looks during the show, and our cue to get back on track would be when the drummer would hit an easily understood fill.

Normally, a song is performed with the goal of not making mistakes, but no rules apply to Ra:IN's songs. It feels like each of us draw whatever we want on a blank book. The only things that are set in stone are the song's title, the intro and ending of the song. The rest is all free-form. I can do whatever I want, and the band members can also do whatever they see fit, anything goes. In the beginning, there were many songs that did not have a fixed length. There were songs where I would just play a solo for a very long time.

Ra:IN's most band-like moment

Ra:IN did not only play in Japan, we got offers to play abroad too. Depending on the country or place, I felt like many people knew about X Japan, and that I had been a member of X Japan.

There were many metal fans at the concert in Germany, and many people saw us play in Russia. Comparatively, the first date we played in Poland was a bit empty, but the next day when we played for free, a lot of people came. I thought to myself: "They'll be there If it's free" (laughs). Something funny that happened was in Italy. The opener band for our show in Rome, was an X Japan cover band. What a great booking (laughs). Backstage, I taught the guitarist how to play a few of my guitar parts in some X songs, and he was delighted. It made me happy to see that wherever we went, people seemed to be having fun at our shows.

I wish for Ra:IN to be around for a long time. Ra:IN's most band-like moment is when we're chatting casually. It's similar to, in the past, when X was still an amateur band and we would enjoy Studio Penta's free coffee and talk after we were done rehearsing. We can joke around and piss ourselves laughing, too. To me, that's what being in a band is all about. It even gets awkward when crew members ask us what we're talking about.

The band goes to a studio in town, sets up their own equipment by themselves, and just plays. During rehearsals, you look at each other and say: "Ah, I got this part wrong. Let's start over". If there's none of that... What's the point?

I have so much fun spending time like that.

Marshall MK II Super Lead 100, my beloved amp

On stage with Ra:IN, there's a lot of improvisation too. Sometimes I forget to give the cue to begin a song, and even more mistakes happen on the day of rehearsal. But the band members are professionals, and everyone can play without too much trouble. So, because we are like that, there is no such thing as “mistakes” in our playing. Or rather, it's our unique performance on that day, rather than mistakes. A live performance wouldn't be interesting if we just played nice and cleanly. I would even go further and say that if you're only playing what you're supposed to play, then maybe it's better to just mime your instruments over a backing track.

When Ra:IN plays overseas, I take my old black Les Paul Custom and my 1955 Les Paul that I call “Baldie” with me. On stage, I mostly use the black Les Paul, and keep Baldie as a substitute. As for amps, I mostly only use an amp head. That would be my Marshall MK II Super Lead 100. It's the same amp I used when recording Blue Blood, and has been my favorite for a long time.

Back then, I spotted one being sold at Tadaya in Inage, but it already had a buyer. That buyer had even applied for a loan, but I liked that amp so much that I asked them to cancel their order. For a lack of a better word, I hijacked it. I've been using the amp since then, as I like it so much. It had already been modified with the addition of a master volume to make it easier to make distorted sounds. This is a useful modification, and later I heard it was the owner of ALBIT who customized it.

Speaking of amps, the logo of my Hiwatt cabinet fell off during the songwriting phase of Blue Blood. I thought it would be funny if I replaced the Hiwatt logo for the Marshall head amp logo. At a glance, it's a Hiwatt, but "modded" into a Marshall.

For me, distortion is sufficiently achieved with an amp. That's why I rarely use distortion and overdrive effects. When I played with X, I also only used amps for effects, and once, a concert sound tech once asked me: "Can you at least turn up the volume during the guitar solos?", so I got a boost pedal. I'm not into delay effects, and zero interest in multi-effects either. I don't think I would even be able to master them, in the first place. Rarely, for only certain parts of songs, I will use a MXR phase and a Vox Wah-wah pedal. These are all I've been using for more than 30 years.

The only exception is when my guitar tech, Saito, who has always been of great help, accompanies me to a concert and then he'll add a little delay and distortion to my solos. I've had some issues with my left foot, and it's painful when I have to step on the Wah-wah pedal, so I would rather use the amp. It's surprisingly simpler than most people would think.

These days, there are many small multifunctional tools such as amp simulators. All the musicians I know use them, the closest example I can think of being United. When I asked them about it, they said: "We don't want to carry heavy equip around, like Marshall amps". I've heard that United are using only simulators in place of amps. It does have that "simulator sound" quality, and I think it fits with United's songs and sound. However, when Harry of United listens to my Marshall, he gets envious and says: "Yeah, that sounds great after all". But, he says that, realistically, he can't walk around with three amp stacks.

A little while ago, I played an event with a few younger bands, and all of them use simulators. I guess all young people nowadays do. I was the only one at the rehearsal using amps. I wonder if I am a rare or ancient creature.

But, I don't enjoy playing guitar if the sound doesn't come out from a real amp.